Don’t look down
Never give up
Release fear
Learn to let go.

Climbing upwards
I feel the knots disintegrate
those that capture my body and mind into a frantic, convoluted mess of distress, confusion, and overwhelming emotion
loosening the tension of those that bind me to the terrible consequences of a decision I cannot turn back on
but only move on.

Instead I am held by the powerful knot of safety and comfort
a knot that allows me to let go
to lose fear
to move on.

Instead I can climb upwards instead of 
pulling myself down.
There I forget myself and look towards my only goal.

Persistence, perseverance, patience
sometimes means letting go.
Though my violent falls are easily perceived as the fault of
weakness, under-confidence, cowardice
Though the bystander may consider that I have
Given Up.

But when I let go it is not to give up
but to look at the wall from a 
different perspective
take a moment of rest and self-care
So I can learn, improve and try again.

In my peaceful state of unrelenting motivation, concentration, and clarity
I challenge myself to a harder wall.
Slowly, calmly and fearlessly I approach it with gentle movements
despite the strain on my arms and my trembling body.

I do not ignore the pain. I acknowledge it and move forward because
I know my destination.

And yet,
ever so close,
I feel a sharp, burning, searing pain. I know I can still hold on, move on, continue …

I also know that I will break.
Instead I remember to
let go.
And I remind myself that
I will try again.

Don’t push harder, work softly, don’t make the damage worse than what it was.

Where I am injured I support 
though I know I must temporarily avoid my source of pain.
Support gives me an equal if not
more gratifying source of peace.

Then try again, but don’t push too hard. 
Aware of my injury I adapt my strategy
the position of my arms and legs
the difficulty of the walls that I attempt
letting go whenever the strain is too strong.

A judgement that I alone must make,
for the strain is nothing like
the pain of 
a broken
or dislocated
arm.
Nothing like the pain of a
gashing wound.

But I will not let the strain 
become a broken, dislocated arm.

I walk away from the climbing walls and know that I will return again.